“Don’t be scared of scars. They just tell stories that are hard to hear.” – Ashly Lorenzana

Stories allow the soul to breathe and capture the incredible journeys that people experience throughout their own lifetime. But while some stories are joyous, others can be painful.

Personal tragedies come in all sizes: losing a loved one, battling depression, addiction or other illness, or coping with a move, job loss, or divorce can all make us feel like we’re at the very bottom. Like most people, you may feel vulnerable and scared to share these dark moments in your life, asking “How can I write down and relay to others my own heartbreaking story?”

Start by speaking from the heart. Words don’t have to be your only medium – photos, video, old Facebook posts and tweets can form the basis of your story if you’re writing-phobic. But whatever format you choose, there are some simple tips to keep in mind to help you confront your struggles, and inspire others to overcome their own.

Here are five tips from Brenda Peterson and Sarah Jane Freymann’s book “Your Life is a Book: How to Craft & Publish Your Memoir” to help you convey your own story of struggle and survival.

Remember that you are revisiting old memories, not current realities

It is vital to remember that, while you are traveling down these paths of painful memories, they are not present realities any longer. It’s important to keep yourself safe. The authors explain it by saying, “remind yourself that these are memories, not your present reality, that you have already survived the blasts, the poisons, and the fears.”

You have strengths now that you didn’t have before

The writers describe it further, saying “You are the storyteller who has many skills and safeguards that you didn’t have before.” Keep in mind that you have powerful insight and strength today that you gained through these very past experiences. Utilizing these new skills in your storytelling reinforces your new strength, and helps others find theirs

Keep your readers safe

You have a story of survival, and so many readers can learn from your wisdom and insight. “Just as you learn to keep yourself safe as you tell your life story, you also want to make sure your reader feels safe. Do this by signaling that you have survived to tell the tale and know something that will help us,” say the authors.

You will continue to learn new things about yourself

Your journey of writing past experiences could help lead you to a new process of healing that you never expected. The book’s authors say “When you summon the courage to visit a particularly toxic scene, you discover something new or astonishing or healing.”

Be the director of your own story

Remember that you are fully in charge as to how you present your experiences. When it feels painful to revisit past memories, keep in mind that you are ‘to create a movie scene or set the stage for action over which you now have more control. You are the director, not the actor.”

Some examples

If you’re looking for good examples of how this can be done online, check out these stories put together by individuals who courageously took the step to sharing their stories of loss, grief, sickness or more online.

• One couple creates a beautiful essay on losing their beloved baby
• “What I learned from Mommi” by Arianna Huffington
• Sabrina Benaim – “Explaining My Depression to My Mother”

This brave journey of writing difficult stories may not always be easy, but it will certainly be helpful to you and those around you. You will become a stronger person in the process!

Online tools like LifePosts offers you a space to share your journey not only in words, but also through photos, Facebook or Twitter posts, or videos. Even better, you’ll allow others to learn from your experience and will open yourself up to receiving support from others.

Take that first step and share your own story that can be made public or kept private. Good luck, and may your shared experience touch those in need who are currently going through the same thing.